Your teen shows you the WhatsApp invite: disco theme, 70s outfits, glitter and platforms. It sounds fun, familiar and fairly harmless, so you say yes.
But there may be another version of the invite circulating among the teens.
In the other group chat, “disco party” has become the Euphoria-themed party, inspired by the HBO series. And of course the outfits, makeup and overall feel is much more adult than the version parents were shown.
For parents, the important issue is two versions of the same event: one for parents and one for teens.
Why do teens do this?
Teenagers test boundaries. They want more independence, they want to fit in, and they don’t always want parents involved in every detail of their social lives. A parent-friendly invitation can make getting permission easier. Once you’ve said yes to a “disco party”, your teen may assume the conversation is over, even if the party has evolved into something quite different.
That doesn’t mean every teen attending is deliberately trying to deceive their parents. Party themes can change quickly in group chats, and some teens may simply go along with what everyone else is doing.
But if there is a second invitation specifically because “our parents won’t let us go if they see the real one,” that’s worth noticing.
But what is Euphoria, and why does it matter?
Euphoria is a series, following a group of American high schoolers as they navigate addiction, relationships and mental health struggles. It’s rated 18+ for mature audiences, and for good reason. The show includes frequent drug use and an overdose, depictions of self-harm, and references to suicide and depression. It also deals with violent sexual content, including full nudity with teen characters, along with significant family dysfunction. Zendaya, the show’s lead, has personally warned viewers before new seasons that the content can be difficult and triggering to watch.
Almost none of this reaches teens through the show itself. What travels is the aesthetic: glittery makeup, bold outfits, dramatic lighting, spread through TikTok sounds, filters and clips, stripped entirely of the story and the warnings that come with it.
A teen can know exactly what the “Euphoria look” is without really knowing what the story is about. So going to the party dressed as a dysfunctional teen hooker could be a given.
And that’s a useful starting point for a conversation. Don’t make the outfit the whole issue
A revealing outfit or provocative party theme can understandably get a parent’s attention. But focusing only on clothing can quickly turn the conversation into an argument about what your teen is “allowed” to wear.
The bigger questions are:
What party do you think your teen is going to and what have they shown a different version of the invite? But at as always, direct questioning can cause a slammed door. So how do you chat about this without getting the proverbial eye roll and level ten meltdown?
Conversation Starters:
• I know party themes can shift by the time the party happens. Are you guys still doing the disco theme (or whatever party you have been told is happening) or has that changed? [This gives your t/ween a chance to tell you the truth].
• What are you thinking of wearing? I’d love to see the vibe everyone’s going for.
• Whose idea was the theme? Sounds like a fun one/interesting/worrying one.
And if the theme is something like Euphoria it is important to establish how much of that content your child knows about versus how much they have gleaned just from TikTok snippets.
• Have you actually watched Euphoria, or mostly just seen bits of it on TikTok?
• What do you think the show is actually about, beyond the makeup and outfits?
If you want to ensure that your child has the cyber EQ and online skills to manage when self-harm and suicide reels comes their way on TikTok, Snap and whatever the next big platform unfolds, ask your school to contact us for a demo of our full digital citizenship curriculum. info@klikd.co.za.
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Sarah and Pam
