Seriously? We expect dodgy DMs on Instagram. We warn our kids about strangers on Snapchat. We know that gaming chats can get weird.

But Playtomic?

The app your kid uses to book a padel court, find a game and play sport with friends? The healthy, happy, get-off-your-phone-and-go-do-something app?

Yep. Playtomic.

Just this week a message landed in a young man’s PlayPlaytomic inbox: “Hi Paul! ok ik (I know) this is random af. I saw you play at Club Padel…”Then: “I do Onlyfans and i want to film some nude content on a padel court…”

She apparently needs a guy. The last one “got super weird”. She’s seen him play. Would he be interested? No pressure, obviously. And just in case he is curious, here’s a link to her OnlyFans page. And there it is. A classic model-hunt style scam, dressed up for a completely unexpected hunting ground.

Because this is the bit parents need to understand: scammers and predators don’t only hang out on the platforms we think are risky. They go where our kids are. And increasingly, our kids are on platforms we barely think of as social media at all.

The scam isn’t new. Just the hunting ground is. Model recruitment or “model hunt” scams have been around for years. The script changes, but the psychology doesn’t.

An attractive stranger notices you. They flatter you. They make you feel interesting, desirable or somehow chosen. Then comes the exciting opportunity, the sexual proposition, the invitation to another platform or, as in this case, the link you’re supposed to click.

What makes this Playtomic example so clever is that the opening feels believable.

“I saw you play at Club Padel.” That’s very different from a random account appearing in your Instagram DMs. It’s local. It’s specific. It’s connected to something (healthy and happy) you actually do.

And because Playtomic is associated with sport rather than risky online behaviour, your child’s guard may be down before the conversation even begins. This is what stranger danger looks like now

We need to stop teaching kids to picture “stranger danger” as some creepy man lurking in a park with a bag of sweets.

The stranger your child needs to worry about may make them feel fantastic.

They may tell your son he’s hot. Tell your daughter she should model. Praise their gaming skills. Notice their padel. Tell them they’re mature for their age. Laugh at their jokes. Flirt with them. Make them feel older, cooler, desirable or special.

Because attention is the new bag of sweets. And for teenagers, who are developmentally wired to care enormously about being noticed, admired and accepted, that can be an incredibly powerful hook.

That’s the conversation we need to be having with our kids. Not simply: “Don’t talk to or game with strangers online.”

But: “Be especially careful of strangers who make you feel really good about yourself, really quickly.”

Because sometimes the biggest red flag online isn’t someone making your child uncomfortable.

It’s someone making them feel irresistible.

So how can we help our kids not to hit the ‘yes, I am in’ button? The in-the-moment plan

Telling a teen not to engage with strangers online is about as useful as telling a tired mom not to eat chocolate alone at night. It doesn’t account for how irresistable the pull actually feels. So here’s the in-the-moment plan we’d want our own kids to have, in language that doesnt come off as a lecture!

Freeze the moment

“Josh, that excited feeling you get when someone unexpected notices you online, that’s pretty normal. It’s just brain wiring, everyone feels good from being noticed. So when you get a message that hits different, when someone makes you feel special or chosen, don’t fight the feeling, just freeze the moment. Sit with it for half an hour.

Is the Rush Real… or Rubbish? :

Once the rush has settled, a message reads completely differently after 30 minutes than it does in the first rush when your brain got the ‘I was chosen feeling’. If it’s real, it’ll still be real in half an hour. If it’s a setup, recognise that the rush is the whole point, it’s built to get you to feel special and hit the “I’m in” button before you’ve had a chance to think. Flattering you is how predators work online. Thirty minutes later your brain will have had a chance to kick in- so ask yourself how would they know me, how would they have seen me, how do they actually know anything about me?

Screenshot it before you reply. Not because you’re in trouble, but because if it is a creep, you are going to need the evidence.

Scan with Adult Eyes, Show an adult the message, not to get told off, just to get a second set of eyes on it so you can judge the moment clearly. Remember your mates are also wired to say go for it, an adult is not.

Remind them that they are wise and you know they will spot the scam…. because showing them we believe in them helps them rise to the occasion far more than telling them they are going to fail and fall.

5 conversation starters for parents

You don’t need to turn this into a scary stranger-danger lecture. Show them the Playtomic message and get them talking. Try:

1. “If this landed in your Playtomic inbox, what would your first reaction be?”

Would you think scam? Would you be curious, maybe even flattered? I get it if you were. Would you click the link? What might make the message feel believable?

2. “What do you think the words ‘I saw you play at Club Padel’ are designed to make you feel?”

Talk about how making something feel personal and local can make us trust it more quickly.

3. “Imagine someone really attractive messaged you and said they’d noticed you. Do you think you’d be more likely to let your guard down?”

This is a great opportunity to talk about flattery as a manipulation tool, without embarrassing them for being susceptible to it.

4. “We always talk about dodgy strangers on Snapchat or Instagram. What other ‘safe’ apps do you use where a stranger could potentially contact you?” (Pintrest is a big one believe it or not – story for another day)

Think gaming platforms, sports apps, fitness apps, Discord servers and any platform with messaging or social features.

5. “What could you do if you got a message like this and part of you really wanted to follow up to see if it was for real?”

Rather than simply saying don’t click, help them build a plan: stop, don’t follow the link, screenshot it, check the account and show someone you trust.

The message we want our kids to take away isn’t that everyone online is dangerous. It’s that the people trying to manipulate them won’t necessarily look dangerous at all. Sometimes they’ll look interesting. Sometimes they’ll look attractive. Sometimes they’ll offer an opportunity that feels too good to ignore.

And sometimes they’ll simply make your child feel seen.

Stay connected

Sarah and Pam